Have you and your ex-spouse recently gone through a divorce and you are starting to notice that your child is acting differently towards one of you? After a divorce, some children begin to reject and pull away from the parent they were the most bonded with when everyone was living under one roof. This is often caused by one parent making the other seem obsolete out of anger or pain, or by a parent who more overtly bad mouths their ex-spouse in front of the child, causing them to pull away. This is known as parent alienation.

Are You Causing Parental Alienation?dreamstime_xxl_5404849

It’s perfectly normal to have feelings of ill will towards an ex-spouse, especially when the divorce is fresh. However, showing these feelings to your child or even worse, verbalizing them will only act to hurt your kid. Think about how you speak of your ex in front of your child? Do you call him/her names? Are you constantly cursing any actions they make or things they say? Chances are, if you are doing any of these things, your child is being affected negatively by them.

Kick the Habit

If you discover that you have been causing parental alienation, you have already taken the first step to begin fixing the damage you have done. The second step is to explain to your child why you have been acting in such a way. Explaining that you too make mistakes will allow your child to begin reversing some of the thoughts you have spurred in him or her. Lastly, begin to talk positively about your ex-spouse around your child, if possible. If you still find it too hard to discuss your ex, simply not speaking about them will also do the trick.

If you are going through a divorce, be sure to call the team at Pavithran Law. We have helped many people through this hard situation and we have a wealth of knowledge that can help you too!